Overgeneralizations

I don't know about many of the other boys (actually, I think I do), but I personally don't really like chick flicks. Unluckily, I can't help but notice that Pride and Prejudice is a perfect example of one.

After rejecting Mr. Collin's marriage proposal, Elizabeth is faced with her next problem. Darcy, who had had an infatuation towards Elizabeth for a long time, finally asks her to marry him. But yet again, Elizabeth denies, unsurprisingly because of her disgust and hatred toward him. Choosing not to give up, Darcy gives her a letter the next day to clarify a few things. In the letter, he does accept that the failure of the relationship between Bingley and Jane was his fault. But then, he tells her one little fact that would change the rest of the novel: Wickham had tried to obtain the love of Darcy's sister, Georgiana, for wealth. I would say that this is the true climax of the whole novel. Elizabeth, who had initially been attracted to Wickham and had thought of Darcy as arrogant, starts to view Wickham differently and develops a sort of pity for Darcy. Somehow, this pity gradually grows into maturity, and Elizabeth decides to reconsider Darcy. Eventually, this reconsideration would turn into love.



I'd say that it's a bit unrealistic that a girl would suddenly start loving someone she used to hate just because of a letter that he had sent. In fact, it's unrealistic in the first place that an arrogant and stubborn guy like Darcy would have given a letter like that face-to-face the day after that same person had rejected his proposal. But then, what would chick flicks be if it weren't for their fanciful romances and improbable love stories. The only thing that this story is missing is Darcy bringing roses every day to Elizabeth. However, I think that the main reason for Austen's writing about all this change in perspective inside Elizabeth's head is to show that first impressions are usually inaccurate and that they do not reflect the heart of the actual person. In other words, prejudice is not a good thing because it only mirrors superficiality. I suppose I agree with Austen, but I don't think it changes much of reality. It is in human nature to make first judgments. Whether someone is more sympathetic than other people or not, first judgments will always affect, at least a little bit, on the attitude that the person has on others. I'd say that it's better for us to try to change our superficiality to match with our inside than to try to change other people to not base their attitudes on first impressions.

Intense Marital Issues

On my previous blog, I said that Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice is very intense about obtaining spouses for her kids probably just because she is the mother of five unmarried daughters. But, I was wrong. After reading a few more chapters of the book, I realized that even young men could also be very needy for wives, not for their children like Mrs. Bennet's case, but for themselves.

Surprisingly, Mr. Collins comes up to Elizabeth one day and proposes to her for a marriage. Mrs. Bennet, being her usual self, wants her to accept the offer. Even though her own mom tells her that she wouldn't see her again if she were to reject Mr. Collins, Elizabeth still denies the proposal. Only after a while does Mr. Collins propose to Charlotte, Elizabeth's best friend. Unlike Elizabeth and her personality, she accepts. Mrs. Bennet, obviously, gets infuriated at this her daughter just lost a possible husband.

Who seems to be more intense, Mrs. Bennet or Mr. Collins (and when I say intense, I mean needing to marry someone just to feel secure and not taking much of love into account)? At first sight, one would say Mrs. Bennet. But, I disagree. If I really I had to pick, I'd pick Mr. Collins.

It is natural for a woman like Mrs. Bennet with five unmarried daughters to tend to worry about these factors. The success of her kids is the central focus of her life. Yes, she might cross the line at times, but that is more due to her personality. Mr. Bennet would probably worry about this too, but he has his rational thinking a bit straighter and doesn't care as much as she.

On the other hand, there's Mr. Collins. A gentleman like him could be focusing more on other things like stability of his wealth or family relations. But, no. He chooses to spend his valuable time looking for a wife. His actions would be clearly justifiable if he wanted to spend what is left of his life with someone that he loved and that loved him back. However, this is not the case. After getting rejected by Elizabeth, he just goes on to the next woman he finds and proposes to her. One would argue that his reason was that he didn't want to be alone throughout the future years, but I'd personally want to live with my family or friend than to live with someone I don't truly love. One could also argue that his reason is his desire to have a family (children) to carry on his bloodline (or something of the sort). Either way, he's treating marriage more like a business and using it as a tool to feel secure. Love is discarded.

I guess, in a way, Mr. Collins represents the impact that societal norms and loneliness have on single men and their feelings of desperation effected by them, just like Mrs. Bennet's exaggerated representation of the anxiety that women might carry around. Still, people today usually don't act like this. But who am I to judge? There might be a Mr. Collins or a Mrs. Bennet in all of us, whether it be written all over our actions, or hidden somewhere deep beneath a dark hole. It's still there.

Noteworthy Dazzling Words!

1. apothecary: a person who prepared and sold medicines and drugs.

2. efficacy: the ability to produce a desired or intended result.

3. rapture: a feeling of intense pleasure or joy.

4. deference: humble submission and respect.

5. gallantry: courageous behavior.

6. impertinence: not showing proper respect; rude.

7. threadbare: (of cloth, clothing, or soft furnishings) becoming thin and tattered with age.

8. flog: beat (someone) with a whip or stick as punishment or torture.

9. iniquitous: immoral or grossly unfair behavior.

10. asperity: : he pointed this.

11. rector: (in the Roman Catholic Church) a priest in charge of a church or of a religious institution.

12. thither: to or toward that place.

Balls and Roses

I know that the story takes place in the 18th century and all, but Pride and Prejudice can't emphasize more on the balls (dance parties) and all the so-called romance that happens between the characters.

Yes, I think I sort of get the balls part. Back then, balls were very formal and fancy-looking. Only high class people (or at least not the poor people) were able to attend them. It is understandable that rich people wanted to mingle with other rich people, because they wanted to always keep their status of being at the top of the food chain (economically of course). And yes, the parties today are very different. But, it makes sense that the continuous changes in culture and even things like technology have affected our perspective of a party. What doesn't really make sense to me is the perspective of love in the 18th century according to the book.

It might seem that there is no difference between modern-day love and the one showed in the story. Both of them show some kind of desire for another person. But, in the novel, love is actually shown more like a business rather than a feeling and emotion for others. Mrs. Bennet, the mother of Elizabeth and Jane, always looks so needy to obtain husbands for her daughters. Obviously most mothers would want their daughters to get married at some point, but Mrs. Bennet has her life revolve around it. This makes her daughters perceive love as a desire for a person based on his or her wealth and social class. This actually still goes on nowadays even though it's not very well-tolerated, but the social environment within the story makes it seem so normal and very common.

I guess, in a way, Mrs. Bennet's attitude represents an exaggerated form of women's inclination to base their love on the person's affluence. Whether it be modern day or two centuries ago, that fact, or more correctly worded as a bias, will never change.

Pride?

Does pride actually exist or is it just an illusion that restrains us from doing something we shouldn't be doing and feel good about it? Of course, no one would be willing to run around naked on the streets while screaming at the top of his/her lungs, but that's because no one wants to, not because of pride. Even the book of Pride and Prejudice itself shows this.

In the beginning of the novel, a rich man called Mr. Bingley moves into town. The Bennet's, hearing this news, gets excited and sees it as an opportunity for a future husband for one of the single daughters in the family. Although there are five daughters, Mr Bingley prefers the oldest daughter, Jane, and even dances with her twice during a ball.

The five Bennet sisters clearly don't have any pride for themselves. They immediately took action to try to gain a relationship with Mr. Bingley after finding out about his great wealth. However, let's suppose, for instance, that these sisters had this so-called pride. Then, they technically would have restrained themselves from trying to get close to Mr. Bingley and kept on living their usual lives hoping for a prince-charming to magically appear some day. But, would this alter the fact that the sisters still wanted to have husbands with a lot of money and wealth, just like Mr. Bingley? Probably not.

The point I'm trying to make here is that someone's behavior and actions does not always reflect the person's thinking, because deep down, it's always just a matter of fact of whether the person likes something or not. This superficial illusion humans tend to call "pride" is just a cover up that hides one's shameful desires and feel good (proud) about it.

Buddy's Day

It seems like Buddy, just like any other guy, wasn't really satisfied with his life. Ondaatje describes Bolden's daily routines:

"It was a financial tragedy that sleep sobered Bolden up completely, that his mind on waking was clear as an empty road and he began to casually drink again although never hard now for he played in the evenings. He slept from 4 till 8. His day had begun at 7 when he walked the kids a mile to school buying them breakfast along the way at the fruit stands. A half hour's walk and another 30 minutes for them to sit on the embankment and eat the huge meal of fruit." (177)

First of all, Bolden worked as a barber after left his kids at school until his nap at four. His life seems to be very decent, but his "financial tragedy" of spending his money on alcohol implies his wanting to forget reality. Even his everlasting 4-hour nap shows signs of dissatisfaction of the world. And once he does finally wake up, he goes out in the evening to let out all his emotions by playing his cornet. Obviously, he doesn't seem to like his job as a barber much because it's not even mentioned in this passage about his daily routine. Yes, it feels like as if Bolden is some kind of an emo that hates his job, but no. As we keep reading, it can be noticed that the second half of this paragraph is dedicated to his lovely kids. Clearly, Bolden values his kids with great importance. I don't know about other people, but in my personal opinion, waking up every day before seven just to spend about two hours walking a mile and buying food for someone else is not a very easy task. But, "his day had begun at 7" tells us that Bolden thought of his morning with his children as something positive, something that sparked up his will to keep up and survive throughout the day. Of course, Bolden's current anxiety slowly keeps on building up throughout the novel which probably is the reason he eventually leads to his insanity, but for now, he still has at least a bit of hope, not to live, but to survive.

Reading Through Bolden

After reading Coming Through Slaughter by Michael Ondaatje, I've decided to do a close reading. Here's a quote taken from the book, in which Bolden, the main character, meets up again with Nora, his wife he had left for two years:

"They lay there without words. Moving all over her chest and arms and armpits and stomach as if placing mines on her with his mouth and then leaned up and looked at her body glistening with his own spit. Together closing up her skirt, slipping the buttons back into their holes so she was dressed again. Not going further because it was friendship that had to be guarded, that they both wanted. The diamond had to love the earth it passed along the way, every speck and angle of the other’s history, for the diamond had been the earth too.” (118)

Sentence one: "They" (more than one person), including Buddy, have some kind of an ineffable emotion going on inside them.

Sentence two: Through the actions he does and the way that he appreciates every part of her body implies that he likes her (or at least he's about to have a sexual relationship). But because Buddy leaned up and stares at what's happening ("looked at her body glistening with his own spit"), I can infer that he's rethinking his actions.

Sentence three: Buddy stops what he's doing. I can infer that he is at least thinking about his actions and has a sense of why he shouldn't do what he was about to do. His stopping also implies that Buddy now either has more respect or his interest in Nora (or woman in general) has decreased.

Sentence four: Buddy has to keep his friendship with Nora the way it is either because of some kind of a past experience or because of some kind of a constraint. "...that they both wanted" implies that Nora understands Buddy's situation and feelings. I can infer that Buddy realizes that it's not worth risking his relationship with Nora.

Sentence five: Even though Bolden has now changed a lot compared to his previous years, he realizes that he was still a part of Nora, who has not changed much. He bases his actions on the past and decides that he has to respect his wife.